SwanWaters Healing Academy Preparing Your Escape from Abuse

Preparing Your Escape from Abuse

Escaping an abusive situation is difficult—if not full-on dangerous. Preparing your escape will make you more likely to get out and stay out. In this module, I’ll share some advice for you to consider as you equip yourself to make the first move; a series of starting points to help you remove yourself from an abusive situation.

Please always realise that abusers often escalate when their targets are trying to get out. For this part of your journey over-preparing is better than under-preparing!

Before we delve into the deepest parts of this, I want to share a few statistics that my dear friend Aubrey Cole shared with me. Don’t let these frighten you, but read them with the attitude that “forewarned is forearmed.” Aubrey had no knowledge of these things prior to getting out of her abusive marriage but learned about them after. She feels they are important for people in abusive situations to know so they can be better prepared. So you can read them below

  • Approximately 3/4 of all reported physical attacks occur after the abused partner has left the relationship. In other words, it’s far more common that leaving will increase the level of abuse. While this statistic was first published in 1998, it remains roughly the same today.
  • Physical violence (hitting, pushing, choking, etc.) doesn’t have to be present for a relationship to be abusive and dangerous.
  • More than 90% of those having left an abusive relationship describe being actively and aggressively stalked by a former partner and having reported it to friends, relatives, and/or authorities with no action taken.
  • On average, it takes 7 tries to get out and stay out of an abusive relationship.

Although these statistics are about spousal abuse, they also apply in some ways to other relationships. My psychologically abusive family has over the years – and continues to- try and find me and regain control over me. The abuse increased significantly after I cut contact. So regardless of the nature of the abuse, you are trying to escape, these statistics will bear some relevance.


5 Lessons

Preparing Your Escape from Abuse

Escaping an abusive situation is difficult—if not full-on dangerous. Preparing your escape will make you more likely to get out and stay out. In this module, I’ll share some advice for you to consider as you equip yourself to make the first move; a series of starting points to help you remove yourself from an abusive situation.

Please always realise that abusers often escalate when their targets are trying to get out. For this part of your journey over-preparing is better than under-preparing!

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